MÚMÙ

The Many Adventures

My parents live within a remote area in ikorodu, the goat bleating, dog barking cricket singing in harmony part of ikorodu ,a place called ISIU, a community touching shoulders in distance to Caleb University and with a  local population that seems to be growing faster than it should, not due to migration but a high rate of pro-creation , girls around here seldomly finish secondary school due to high rate of dropouts caused by pregnancy within the community.

I won’t necessarily tag this a matter of national security yet but it’s a concern I’ve found many a time lingering through the corridors of my thoughts.

In the midst of the many issues and challenges that plagues this local community, my mother owns a goat 🐐 she named MUMU !!

A beautiful brown tricky goat 🐐 with a similarity to a high functioning street sociopath, MUMU  is the only goat within my mothers herd that has never given birth to two offspring at a go and has only had one offspring that is female within her four birth cycle (the joy of every goat rearer is when the other goats produce female offsprings so as to populate the herd - but MUMU is an anomaly she doesn’t care much)

Before I go further into her many escapades and doings , I’ll tell you how she got her name MUMU  which is a moniker for foolishness but it won’t be possible if I don’t go back and talk about her family tree 🌳 .. So apparently MUMU had a mother named FINE GIRL (Yeah I know 😀 My Mum unarguably pick the best names 😂) So FINE GIRL was that goat that refused all the goat norms, she would never eat from the floor nor taste any food that has had close contact with sand ,she was an enigma for pretty trouble , you couldn’t eat too comfortable outside without  being vigilant when she’s around, shes a food pick-pocket till MUMU eventually came on board (a bouncing baby goat)

So we wake up and meet at the T-Junction of our dining room before proceeding to the kitchen door … Just like clockwork ,every morning MUMU awaits at the other side of the door with her offspring and a look stating its hungry and must be fed else…,, don’t be deceived by the name ,MUMU is a brilliant goat, if there was a Harvard for Animals and the criteria for getting in is mischief MUMU would graduate Valedictorian ,she was named MUMU cos instead of running from humans like other goats do instinctively, she runs towards them ,initially we thought this was a problem  and she would do this to strangers and eventually get stolen , she has outsmarted being stolen twice after running away twice cos for some reasons my sibling said they wanted her going to bed early , I guess she took offense ,MUMU won’t go close or let a stranger touch it with a ten foot pole the touching part is reserved for my siblings alone, I haven’t even earned that feat yet

The jam lock in the kitchen seems to be very loose but since the door closes and stays shut why change what isn’t spoilt ?

Well Mr Christopher Okoro(My Father) I think you should have

So MUMU has brilliantly observed the looseness in the door 🚪,Waits till mid day after the back and forth that comes with morning chores, sponges caressing plates, Colds soups yearning for warmth that the gas burners produce, MUMU waits till the chaos Subsides, immediately the kitchen is dead silent ,she listens for heartbeats with her stethoscopic🩺 ears 👂

She then makes her move

She Pushes the door with a tip of her hoof or her horns (we’ve seen her use different parts)

And behold she strolls in like a licensed ballerina 🩰 in an opera house, she tip toes while activating stealth mode, she checks the beans container, helps herself to some raw beans ,if there are pots lying on the cold floor tiles ( she Anini’s the content )  strolls straight to the store if there is a bunch of plantain on the floor you’d have to chase her to get the one she took back maybe half of it

The sentence “As stubborn as a goat“ would be valid here but won’t be entirely accurate

MUMU IS BRILLIANT

A celebrity Goat 🐐 that’ll probably sign autographs and stand for picture’s ,while throwing it hoof up ,this wouldn’t be a similarity to humans throwing two fingers as a peace sign ✌🏽 but an unruly gesture of giving the middle finger 🖕,,,if other goats had access to phones 📱 MUMU might be the Steve Jobs of Goats.

While writing this I asked my mum if she had any idea where MUMU might be at the moment (unknown to her I was writing about  her goat)

(She responds In Igbo)

She said there’s no need guessing

(MUMU nor ná council)

MUMU is at the Local Council development office, according to My mother MUMU goes there every afternoon maybe not into the building , I couldn’t even ask why (I was in awe 🫢….what were the odds of that being the answer?)

The only explanation that comes to mind were more of questions and me thinking why a goat goes to the council office every afternoon ,perhaps to discuss the goat affairs in the local area , or perhaps she won the Goat Elections and she is diligent with going to her office daily to discharge her duties (inventing new ways to pick kitchen locks 👀) unlike the ghost workers that enthrones themselves in our public offices and are only physically present for cash activities.

In some weird way MUMU has stolen the hearts of many from young to old, both in a good and in a not so good manner, her reputation precedes her .. you see kids passing by and on seeing her they start pointing and laughing to each other saying (That’s MUMU [in Yoruba] MUMU Niyèn)

When she steals in public… she knows so well that her journey needs to hastily be directed towards home, the victim doesn’t bother they just make their way down to our house 🏠 and my mother pays with zero smiles. MUMU is both a painful and a sweet company.

I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS UP

BUT MY MOM HAS A GOAT NAMED MUMU, A HEN NAMED JEZEBEL (For constantly picking fights) AND  ANOTHER HEN,FOR ITS SKINNY NATURE NAMED KPORO-CHI (Call on God)

But with each to their uniqueness… none has mesmerized me more than the Fence climbing goat 🐐called MUMU

• MUMU